“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
In the course of life, we go to through struggle, self-doubt, and experience defeat. It is a universal part all humans share. We experience the common struggles differently due to our different upbringing and circumstances. To many of us, finding our true self in the sea of people can be a huge challenge. What should we do? We re-frame it. Instead of trying to find yourself, how about creating yourself?
Life isn’t about finding yourself.
Many of us, in the modern world go through our day without direction. We are led into buying what society is advertising. Bombarded with information and pompous slogans, we become overwhelmed and confused. Unsure what to pursue other than conforming to society's standards, we end up being anxious and depressed. Social media sets the standard of living too high and too unrealistic.
We want to look like the next big model, possess fancy clothes and travel to the most exotic places. When we start living by society’s standards, we end up with little to nothing authentic left of ourselves. We drift through life, pushed and pulled, then attribute it to fate. We envy our friends who seem to have it all. Often times, many people who climb the social ladder end up being dissatisfied and unhappy.
During your darkest times, remember this “life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Although this may go against what you are used to being told, once you trust your struggle and put your faith into what you are trying to achieve, you will be able to create yourself and separate your voice from all other noises.
Understand that what drowns out our uniqueness the older we become is the societal pressure to conform and the noise our family creates. But if we can filter out those noises, we can single-mindedly pursue our own path towards harnessing that uniqueness we carry in us. You must not let others dictate what your passion, your work, your desire should be like. For the desire not from within will weaken and you will grow tired of what you initially set out to achieve.
These are several ways you can start to craft your own unique identity and start creating yourself:
First, you must reconnect with the child within you. Sit down with a pen and paper in a calm setting with no distractions around and let your mind wander. Write down what fascinated you as a child and why you loved it. Reflect on your feelings on different types of work and make a list of why you like or don’t like it. Free your mind and don’t hold back. Ask yourself what you had done as a child that engaged you for hours on end. Don’t dismiss your hobbies as silly or trivial.
This is the core that makes you unique as a human being. Some of the most brilliant minds such as Mozart and Einstein retain a childlike wonder and curiosity that kept them questioning everything around them. Powered with discipline and relentless pursuit of finding the truth, they pioneered in their fields.
Journaling can help with this first stage.
Second, find what keeps you up at night while others are sleeping. It doesn’t have to be work for monetary purposes or a deadline you have to keep up with. It could be a simple hobby like making pottery, writing fiction, or drawing comics. Steve Jobs took a class on calligraphy without knowing if it would have any real life application in the future. He simply got fascinated by the history, the beautiful letters, and “artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture.” 10 years later, it all came back to him that his first Macintosh was inspired and influenced by the very first calligraphy course he took. You never know where life could take you. If you stay true to yourself and keep an eye on the pattern of your life, you will be surprised how anything you once engaged in can come back to serve you later.
Third, don’t stop experimenting. Open your mind and perceive obstacles as exciting challenges. Experiment until you find a niche to hone your craft and make it scream your uniqueness. The creator of Dilbert, Scott Adams, has gone through failed startups, working 9-5 jobs in a cubicle, getting his hands on programming, and useless patents. He has had so many jobs but he never blames his circumstance or destiny. He harnessed as much as possible from the most trivial and tedious jobs. He took notes on what made him tick during those jobs and acquired the skills he needed to hunt down his life calling - storytelling through comic strips.
Life is about creating yourself.
Life is not a straight line. It is riddled with twists and turns. Accept this fact of existence and see each obstacle as an exciting challenge that you, the main hero of your story, have to overcome. Once you accept yourself as a unique being who is destined to craft your own path, you won’t look for anyone else to validate or mold you to their own perception. What unadulterated stems from your heart will inspire you to work hard and find a meaning larger than yourself. The authenticity and value you create will go down as your legacy. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” - George Bernard Shaw.